Dear Mom, I ate lunch with Claire today

Dear Mom, I ate lunch with Claire today at her school

One of my stay-at-home-dad buddies told me that at his daughter’s school they not only allowed, but encouraged parents to come in and eat lunch with their kids. I called up Claire’s school and had the same experience. They were delighted to have me come out. I just signed in, put on a visitor tag, then waited outside her class for the kids to go to lunch. Pretty soon they started out the door all in a line, well what line you could expect from a bunch of five year olds. “Stand on the yellow line next to the wall.” Her teacher exclaimed. The kids filed out in their five year old style line and took their places next to the wall.

Claire shouted “Daddy!” hesitating for a bit not sure she should get out of line, but her teacher kindly pushed her toward me and we had a big hug and a kiss. Turning to one of her little friends, “This is my Daddy.” She said excitedly.

“Are you going to eat lunch with me today?” She had the biggest smile on her face, I thought this might be a treat and the lady at the desk assured me it was, but she was definitely excited beyond my expectations.

“Yes, I am.” I gave her another big hug. “Where do we stand.” I asked, as I looked around at the five year old chaos that was assembling in the hall.

There was a bit of rearranging while all the mozzarella stick kids were put in the same place, and all the pizza kids were in the same place and all the lunch box kids were in the back. Her teacher explained to the children, in a way that seemed she did it every day, they all needed to be in their place to insure they would have time to eat all their food, and make room for the next class as they went through.

We started down the hall holding hands, every time someone looked our way Claire would explain, “This is my Daddy.” Another boy walked up beside me and grabbed my other hand. I guess holding hands with a daddy is pretty cool when you are five years old, even if it is not your own daddy.

Her teacher explained how everyone needed to use some hand sanitizer and they lined up and individually reached up on the wall for some hand sanitizer from the dispenser. I wanted to explain to Claire that gel sanitizer had been found to be superior to the foam they were using, but realized it would likely be lost on her young ears and besides did I expect them to change out the dispensers?

Our talking with each other had somehow got us out of line. Her teacher pushed her along and explained how it was important to stay in your place in line so we can all eat together. I tried to apologize but I am pretty sure that was not the point of the explanation. I am pretty sure it is easier to explain to the five year old than to the parent.

“What are we having?” I asked her. “PIZZA!” she exclaimed, we took our trays of pizza from a counter and started down the line toward the vegetable server. She carefully scooped up some corn and tried to put it on her tray. She spilled the first scoop and moved on to try again. I was imagining that five year olds spilled a lot. A lunch lady was standing near the wall though I did not see a washcloth or a broom nearby. Another lunch lady placed a potato cake on the try, then on to the salad counter. I little bit of salad and the plate was looking full. She had the option to have a fruit salad or lettuce and chose lettuce. Either would have been fine but I had a little bit of pride that she wanted a regular salad. I was thinking “My work here is done.” I have a kid that likes real vegetables. Well, she also likes corn and potato cakes, but really who doesn’t.

The last cart in the line had deserts. Cookies, ice cream, etc. I was not sure how it worked, it appeared there was an extra charge for them, Claire stopped at the counter but didn’t take anything though her fingers played over the shelf once or twice as if picking something out. I would have to find out how that worked.

Just then the boy in front of us tipped his tray a little too much and his tomato soup spilled onto the floor then his milk carton following it to the ground. He stood there as five year olds are prone to do. Deciding if he had accumulated enough knowledge to make a decision about this himself. He put his tray on the ground for a moment then picked it back up and decided to call for his teacher. I picked up his milk carton and wiped it off with the napkins I was carrying, “There you go kiddo.” He proceeded down the line. The teacher showed up as I was wiping up the last of the tomato soup. I wasn’t sure if I should do this but watching five year olds tramp through tomato soup seemed like a really bad idea. By the time the lunch lady showed up the mess was gone.

Each child had their own code to type in to a little box. Claire stepped up. I could tell she was under a little pressure. She didn’t look over her shoulder but I was sure she knew I was watching. She hesitantly typed in her number. I did not know what it was exactly but I had seen it enough to know that was not it. She hit enter and, FAIL. Ooops. A teacher standing behind her now placed a little sheet of paper with her name and number next to the machine. “Here you go Claire, now type this in.” I could tell she was disappointed she did not get it on her first try, but she dutifully typed in her number a second time. While she did this I paid the cashier for my lunch.

“Where do we go now?” I asked her making sure she knew she was in charge of the seating arrangements. She directed me toward the lunch tables and carefully picked out a place that had two seats available. There are few feelings you get like sitting down on a very low seat with your knees touching the table top. Claire introduced me to every child at the table, “This is my Daddy. This is my Daddy. This is my Daddy.”

“Mmmmm.” I said, “This is yummy.” Elementary school food is not known for its culinary excellence but it made no sense to let this on to my five year old. First she ate her corn then she impaled her potato cake with her fork and ate it much like a Popsicle. A few bites of lettuce and it was time to concentrate on the pizza. It was obvious very quickly she was not going to be able to cut it up. “Eat it like this.” I said, picking up my pizza and taking a bite. She tried this for a couple bites but decided either the pizza was not up to her highly tuned pizza taste standards or it was too difficult to eat.

The table across from us was getting served cupcakes. She said “I want a cupcake!” I pointed out I thought they were for the other class but she did not give up hope. “A cupcake would be really good.” I have no doubt she was correct but indeed the cupcakes were for the other class. Disappointed she accepted she was not getting a cupcake today, though she pointed out it was someone’s birthday today. She pointed to him and he did have an “It’s my birthday” button. I am sure if his parents knew how all the other kids parents sent cupcakes on their birthday, they would be feeling pretty small right now. I made a note to send really cool cupcakes on her birthday. Since hers was in the Summer it would be celebrated on her half birthday.

It was time to leave so she escorted me to the tray counter where we dumped our trash in a trashcan and left our trays on the counter. The trashcan was over the counter and the five year olds had to stand on tiptoes and lean over the counter to turn over their trays. Most of the trash made it into the can.

Holding hands, we walked back to class where they got in line for recess. I hugged her and kissed her goodbye. “Have fun.” I said. She waved goodbye and made her way to the recess door.

I looked at my watch. I had been with her for just under 30 minutes. It felt like five. I wish I could ask you if it gets any easier.

I imagine you saying “There will come a time when she is a teenager when you will be happy when she leaves the room, but up until that moment, no.”

Love Mike