Dear Mom, It’s almost Mother’s Day again

Dear Mom, It’s almost Mother’s Day again

I remember when you died Mom, it was ten years ago next month. It is easy to remember. You died in 2000 on Mother’s Day. So, with great fanfare I am reminded every year as the entire world sends cards, flowers, candy and whatever to their mother celebrating, what seems to me to be, your death.

Still, in spite of everything I do that makes me a great dad, and in spite of all the great support I have had from my stay at home dad friends, I find myself with an affinity for Mother’s Day.

For some reason I just relate more to Mother’s day than I do to Father’s day. Last year as I was watching my Facebook page and everyone was wishing everyone else a Happy Mother’s Day. I was kind of tickled, after all I was everyone too. My darling girlfriend, sensing my distress, invited me to go to Mother’s Day Brunch. I noted that everyone was complaining about the crowds on Mother’s Day and commenting it was a very bad day to go out to lunch.

I, of course, knew exactly what their problem was, they were going to the wrong places. I quickly announced we were going to Barley’s Brewhaus a little local restaurant that has 33 beers on tap and another 100 in bottles. I know you would have preferred this to most places other people were taking their mother that day. For one, you despised buffets. Most places on Sunday were advertising their fabulous buffet. You just liked to be served. If you were going to forgo making Sunday brunch to allow someone else to do it you wanted to be served. Second you enjoyed drinking with your kids. Mind, you would have preferred a mimosa or a Bloody Mary with your Sunday Brunch, you were also very mindful of what your children wanted to drink and knew that I drank “weird beer” as you put it. Since Barley’s not only served “weird beer” but also made mean mimosas and Bloody Marys it was the perfect place to have brunch.

Even better, there was no waiting. I never actually ate brunch with you at Barley’s but I ate brunch with you 100s of times in similar places and I am very sure that less we took it upon ourselves to eat somewhere extra special it would have been an ideal location. But isn’t Mother’s day “Extra Special.” Well, yes it is, but also the ideal time to help out a business that was in need of more customers on a day when the extra special places were not. We could save a visit to the extra special places on a different extra special day, like the anniversary of Nelson Mandella being released from prison or the first Sunday after I published my first game, or to celebrate her promotion, all days I had brunch with you at extra special places.

You were never short of a reason to celebrate. In fact you took special care to see that even when I was not paying attention to reasons to celebrate you would come up with one for me. On Mother’s Day it was much more likely we would be in a place like Barley’s, and there was no waiting.

As I sat there drinking my favorite Trappist ale and discussing the issues of the day it occurred to me it was not unlike any of a number of Mother’s Days I had spent with my Mother. Darn I almost made it through the entire note without crying.

Love Mike

Dear Mom Teddy Bears are PETA friendly

Dear Mom Teddy Bears are PETA friendly

I am thinking of starting a Teddy Bear farm. Why you may ask? Because Teddy Bears are PETA friendly.

Last Christmas I was standing in line with my little girl Claire. The two women in front of us evidently were acquaintances and were catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. I was not trying to eavesdrop but it was difficult not to catch the conversation since they were speaking loud enough to insure everyone on that floor would know how well off each of them had become, with their rich husbands, 2.6 children, and suitcases full of expendable income.

At one point one of them turns to the other and says, “Is that coat real fox?” The other responded “No it is not real fox it is real raccoon.” She said it in such a way as to imply that raccoon was way more cool that fox, though I got the idea she was trying to relay that her coat was real genetically pure raccoon and not Chinese raccoon dog which had been in the news a lot lately.

The first lady says, “Oh, it looks like real fox.” The other lady responded again matter of factly, “No its not, it is real raccoon.”

My daughter was looking up at them watching the exchange. I am not sure what she was getting out of the conversation but with one hand holding onto her own brown furry coat she tugged now on the real raccoon coat trying to get the ladies attention. They both looked down at her and she put both hands on her coat and announced very proudly, “My coat is made from real Teddy Bears.”

Everyone within 20 feet of us was either laughing uncontrollably or giggling to themselves with the exception of the two ladies who were stunned as if Oscar de la Renta himself had just told them “Their cloths were so last year.” My daughter was beaming, taking in the attention that had just been cast upon her and I was again wondering why I do not walk around with a camera pointed at her at all times.

The ladies were now recovering from the shock and trying to find a way to not look completely out of touch with humanity. I spoke to them reassuringly, “And it is one hundred percent PETA approved.” I think at this point if they would have just laughed and said “How cute” they could have played it off with relatively little collateral damage, but they decided to pretend they were not amused. Which had the result of everyone standing around uncomfortably for the next 5 minutes while they finished with their purchase in silence and moved on. Claire and I continued to comment on the Teddy Bear coat industry.

“The Teddy Bears are only raised on free range farms under the most humane conditions.”

“What do Teddy Bears wear when they take their fur off to make coats daddy?”
“Why they give them wool sweaters, of course.”

It occurs to me there is probably an entire marketing plan set around making coats out of real Teddy Bears. Sure there is the Teddy Bear lobby that will continually complain about the poor living conditions of the Teddy Bears but I am pretty sure with regular visits from PETA and the Humane Society we can assure the public the Teddy Bears live long happy lives.

Love Mike